life always goes on

When I was younger, I would always look at people in College and University and imagined what my life would be like then. I’d look so put together and ambitious. I’d have a coffee in my hand about 90% of the time and I’d feel great about starting my life.

I’m in my third year of post secondary studies, and I don’t like coffee. And I’m scared out of my boots to “start” my life.

My classmate Alexa wrote a very interesting post on her blog about starting life. It got me thinking – when does your life as you know it and want it, start?

I always thought my life would start when I had my degree, a job and married my boyfriend. But it’s true, life started a very long time ago. Life is what made us want what we want now.

I have a quote I painted on the wall of my bedroom that reads “You are a product of the choices you make, not the circumstances you face”. I used to fall in that trap a lot – having pity parties for myself because of my circumstance. Then I realized things happen, and people deal and bounce back. There are all sorts of people in this world and I believe every single one has a story that could break your heart. Even the people with the most heart breaking stories somehow still seem to survive.  Some become world leaders, and some just find a new path to walk down.

Point is, humans face strife all the time. Things hurt, but they don’t last forever. Sometimes the residue of hardship lingers around for the rest of your life, but it does not throb with the same wrenching intensity forever. People adapt, they deal. And life always goes on.

I keep telling myself this when it comes to CreComm. So many people are trying to convince us innocent first years that this program is absolute H-E- double hockey sticks. That we will fail miserably sometimes, we will lose tremendous amounts of sleep and it may ruin our relationships. It scares me so much to think that’ll happen. Especially the latter. The work load is starting to build and it is starting to overwhelm me. Is this what I really want to do, is this where I should be?

I know this is where I’m supposed to be. I have known this is where I’m supposed to be for a while and it really feels right. It just seems very daunting and i’m feeling overwhelmed. The scare tactics have worked. But I’m a person, and people deal and adapt. One day at a time. I’ll deal. That’s the choice I’m going to make.